When I woke up this morning, I finally accomplished something I have always wanted to do, but somehow never managed to actually do- I took my cup of coffee outside and read a book. Yes, after months of thinking how wonderful it would be, I did it and it was indeed wonderful. The book I chose was “Fifty Readings in Philosophy”, a book that was assigned to my intro class and I flipped straight to the self-identity section. After reading, I felt fucking amazing. I went throughout the day thinking deeper than I usually do. Every night I want to go to bed inspired, either by something I experienced that day through reading, writing or a beautiful place I visited, or by something I found searching through the internet if the day itself was bad. I also want to light a candle, because I love candles. So tonight, I have my “sugarplum fantasy” candle lit and an excerpt from the philosophy book that has forever changed the way I view myself, or “self”.
“…the Blessed One teaches them that there is no permanent self, no entity that establishes personal identity. What we call the self is simply the combination of ‘bundles’ of five kinds of force or energy: form (our material shape, our body), feelings, perceptions (sensations), formations (acts of will), and consciousness. Each bundle is simply a conjunction of ever-changing forces; there is nothing permanent in any one bundle and therefore nothing capable of constituting a self.”
I also began to read about Buddha’s twelve-step sequence which leads to human suffering. The sequence begins with ignorance leads to cravings and then ultimately suffering. Sometimes I take my readings too seriously and miss the point, which disappoints me, but everyday I feel as though I have a deeper understanding.