Sometimes I feel as though I am mindlessly floating through life. I don’t appreciate everything around me, all of the small details that we’ve grown numb to because they are such a constant present in my life. On a very deep level, I want to have an understanding and appreciation for all of what I do, all of what I think, and all that happens about me from those actions. Even right now as I lay in bed typing this blog post, I am paying closer attention to the feeling of my fingers against the keyboard, the soft touch of the blankets upon my skin and the sounds coming from the speaker- every instrumental producing a sound that seeps into my mind, causing emotions to arise.
It was on October 1 that I first began to truly think about this. I was getting my hair cut and all I was thinking about was 1. how my hair was going to look when the process was over and 2. what I was going to do when I exited the salon. Somehow I stopped these thoughts, these future thoughts that kept me from enjoying the present, and I began to open my eyes (metaphorically). I watched closely as my hairdresser’s fingers took my strands of hair and watched as they fell to the floor. It was beautiful, the sun reflecting off the color of my hair.
I was aware of the day, the time, the moment. Truly living in the present. People say the days go by quickly, the years fly by and before you know it, you’re looking in the mirror and your no longer the age you once were. I believe this can happen, but I also believe it doesn’t have to. Not if everyday you stay in the present, and reflect on all that you do. Our world is so fast paced, to the point where it nearly disgusts me. We feel as though we can’t stop- we must have our phone in our hand, our mind somewhere else- anywhere but here- always keeping ourselves away from what’s happening in front of us. I want to understand it all, and I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder what happened to the past five years of my life. I want to know.