Tag Archives: love

November

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November. A new month has arrived, however, I feel as though it’s a new year.

I feel I have grown the most in 2014. My goals, my inner happiness, my relationships, my love for the world and others, has grown exponentially. Usually on Sunday nights I would lay in bed stressed about Monday morning, but as I sit here calmly, completely in the moment, I know I am no longer the person I used to be. I look forward to what is ahead of me, and I no longer look at my past with regret; only for guidance.

Is this what it means to grow older? If so, I am looking forward to all of my upcoming years. xx

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present

Sometimes I feel as though I am mindlessly floating through life. I don’t appreciate everything around me, all of the small details that we’ve grown numb to because they are such a constant present in my life. On a very deep level, I want to have an understanding and appreciation for all of what I do, all of what I think, and all that happens about me from those actions. Even right now as I lay in bed typing this blog post, I am paying closer attention to the feeling of my fingers against the keyboard, the soft touch of the blankets upon my skin and the sounds coming from the speaker- every instrumental producing a sound that seeps into my mind, causing emotions to arise.

It was on October 1 that I first began to truly think about this. I was getting my hair cut and all I was thinking about was 1. how my hair was going to look when the process was over and 2. what I was going to do when I exited the salon. Somehow I stopped these thoughts, these future thoughts that kept me from enjoying the present, and I began to open my eyes (metaphorically). I watched closely as my hairdresser’s fingers took my strands of hair and watched as they fell to the floor. It was beautiful, the sun reflecting off the color of my hair.

I was aware of the day, the time, the moment. Truly living in the present. People say the days go by quickly, the years fly by and before you know it, you’re looking in the mirror and your no longer the age you once were. I believe this can happen, but I also believe it doesn’t have to. Not if everyday you stay in the present, and reflect on all that you do. Our world is so fast paced, to the point where it nearly disgusts me. We feel as though we can’t stop- we must have our phone in our hand, our mind somewhere else- anywhere but here- always keeping ourselves away from what’s happening in front of us. I want to understand it all, and I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder what happened to the past five years of my life. I want to know.

Four years

JamesAnniversaryFourYearsFour years ago today, I drove James to a park and set out a blanket and some flameless candles. I asked him to be my boyfriend, and he happily said yes.

Four years, four amazingly beautiful years. I won’t write a long story; for there is no ending in sight. Who says all love stories need endings anyways?

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When we first started dating

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Two years in

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And now. To you, my love. xx

Back to basics

Is July really a week away? It’s hard to believe six months ago I was writing my new years resolutions. After rereading everything I felt so inspired to do in 2014, I realized some items on my list had been neglected.

1. I haven’t finished Doctor Sleep yet. What? It’s been, a while. Since January 23, when I received the book for my birthday. I must get on it.

2. Writing. Oh, how my writing has suffered! I have not one journal to account for the months of February to present day. I purchased (well James purchased) a journal for me today at World Market. Ahhhh! I love it! I must snap a pic sometime. Perhaps tomorrow. It’s wonderful.

3. Being Spontaneous. Today that was a total win. James and I were sitting on our new couch, which I must photograph as well, and we decided to make a movie that started in 15 minutes. After arriving at the movie theater and gasping at the amount of cars that flooded the parking lot, we spontaneously went to World Market, and then spontaneously picked up food. Very, very spontaneous and I am left with the high of the spontaneity.

So far, so good.

xx

Instagram happiness

Every morning when my alarm clock wails, my fingers immediately turn off the sound and find their way onto Instagram.

With one eye closed, I scroll through the images I have chosen to show on my screen and up until a couple weeks ago, I would usually feel a stab of pain near my ego. Because these photos are literally what I see when I wake up in the morning, they have an impact on how my day is going to pan out. Now, I love celebrities and Victoria Secret models, but my life is so far from all of that glam (especially when I’m under the covers in my pajamas) that I would begin to feel somewhat inferior. I would envy the beach homes and the gorgeous clothing wrapped around their figures.

After scrolling through all the photos and setting my phone down on the pillow next to me, even though in my mind I was planning my day out, internally, these amazing, unrealistic photos for myself would stay there- influencing me- for the whole morning and perhaps even into the afternoon.

On one particular morning I woke up and saw a woman looking unbelievable in her bathing suit and at that moment I thought that I needed to go work out. My very first concrete image that morning brought me to the conclusion that I needed to focus my whole day on molding my body based on an image that may or may not have been Photoshopped.

My mind began to process this and I had a beautiful realization- I was in charge of what was fed to my mind through Instagram. I can choose to follow and unfollow whomever I please. It’s not because I hated them, it’s not because I was mad, it was because I knew it was a healthy decision for both my body and mind. I went through the people I followed and deleted over 60 accounts.

This morning when I scrolled through my Instagram, I was flooded with images that only brought me happiness and healthy inspiration. Photos my friends had posted, healthy meals, gorgeous landscapes and amazing photos that made me remember there’s so much more than just me and my life right now, in this bed, from NatGeo.

I feel as though my Instagram is a “healthy” place to go now, a safe haven of photographs that influence me in the greatest way possible. I finally found my Instagram happiness.

2014 resolutions

inspiration_edited-1I can’t believe it’s already March! I’ve decided to post my 2014 resolution list which I made on January 1 and see how well I’ve been doing with my resolutions.

Travel: Yes! So far I have been down to the beach and this weekend I traveled north to visit the largest telescope in Texas! (this must be a post in itself- the trip was a whirlwind)

Cardio: I feel as though I could be doing better. I run outdoors at least three times a week. Ok, maybe sometimes I only get in two running days. I’m not a fan of the gym, so I have been avoiding getting my cardio fix in there.

Journal everyday: Fail.

Read: I have yet to finish one book this year, but I am currently reading Doctor Sleep by Stephen King and the last book in the Fifty Shades trilogy.

Erase all voices of society: I feel as though I am doing well with this resolution. I haven’t been sucked into anything I haven’t wanted to truly do.

Be spontaneous: I could be more spontaneous. *runs away from computer*

Lose yourself: Work in progress. I lost myself on a park bench today.

Start my own company: I’ve been working on this everyday.

How are you doing on your new year resolutions?